"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide no escape from reality." Anyone who knows me knows that anything can make me think of a song. All night I've been rushing around finishing up last minute projects before I leave. As I was packing, prepping and dying my hair purple, I couldn't help but think. Is this really happening? I have been talking, thinking and dreaming of this for months and now, is it really happening? I mean I know it is. It just hasn't hit me yet, and it probably won't till I'm on that airplane. Those of you who do theatre might understand this feeling, its like that feeling you get right before you do a show. You don't have that turn in your stomach just yet, but you can feel it's about to happen.
"Goodbye everybody I've got to go, Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama ooohhh I don't want to die." This weekend was filled with goodbyes. Which is semi over dramatic because I'm only going to be gone for a month, and let's be honest I've gone months without seeing my friends because of college and we're all just fine. Really the hardest people to say goodbye to were my family obviously and my young women. We just had girls camp. I feel like we all grew so close and now I have to leave! It's like putting on a band aide super sticky before ripping it off. I'll miss those girls, but its o.k. It's only a month. Like I said, saying goodbye to my family was sad. I'll miss my mom a lot but right now however it's probably best if we get some time apart. We're getting to that look at me wrong and I might snap on you phase. It's like my senior year of high school all over again. She makes me laugh though, she just keeps saying over and over again. "Please don't do anything stupid, if you die I wont be able to handle it." haha "Don't do anything stupid," That seems to be something I keep hearing a lot. No worries guys!! I don't want to die! So I promise I will be safe.
"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye! So you think you can love me and leave me to die! Oh baby, can't do this to me baby! Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!" I'm not sure if this line really fits my situation, but its my favorite line in the song so I'm going to make it work. This trip is basically me sticking it to monotony, mixing it up and getting some experience, and maybe just maybe I have a bit of bitterness about love. Who doesn't really? Who doesn't or hasn't experienced one moment of feeling jaded by someone? So in a way I guess this line works for me. I do need to get out of here. Maybe getting out of here will somehow get you out of my heart. Ok with that girly moment over....
Here we go! For real! I'm leaving. Well I'm sleeping hopefully and then I'm leaving. Who knows what this trip has in store for me. Really it could be anything. Obviously I have plans but if there is one thing I know is that things never go the way you planned. Really that's o.k with me. I'm ready for this journey to begin. So bring it on life, I'M READY!
"Anyway the wind blows..."